Mini Reviews: 7 Lucky Ninja Kids, The Godfarter 3, Goddess Bunny Channels Shakespeare, Pink Narcissus

I'm trying to watch 365/365 this year. I was way behind schedule for about a month and a half when I was transitioning between jobs. Now that things have leveled out I've made it a personal goal to catch back up. That means watching on average two movies a day, and I'm almost all caught up. When I started I was around 50 movies behind, now I only have 7 to go! Some days when I'm in the right mood and have nothing else going on I can marathon 4 or 5 movies which has helped me catch up alot. I'm kind of just rambling here but my point is, I'm watching a lot of movies in rapid succession.

You may have noticed that I added some categories to the side panel. I'd like to keep adding them as they develop. I put Mini Reviews at the top because I've already written so many short bulk reviews. They're kind of like rant-y movie journal entries, which is fun for me. Also, it's impossible to review ALL of the movies I watch. Maybe some writers could do it but it takes me too long just to crank out one. At least with mini-reviews I can mention a few other goodies that I didn't have the time or the mindspace to write full reviews for.

One recent treat I had the pleasure of seeing was 7 Lucky Ninja Kids. A Taiwanese all-kid kung-fu comedy from 1986. A friend had recommended it to me a while back, so when I saw it at the video store with the tagline "Awesome Skateboard Riding, Pizza Eating Group of Mini Ninjas!" - I knew it had to be mine. It seemed to be set in a world where it was ok for adults to punch kids in the face. The 7 kids are apart of some kind of ass kicking brigade and there's not a parent in sight. They get mixed up a diamond heist which leads to lots of Home Alone-esque kid vs. robber action. There's tons of copyright infringement going on with the soundtrack too. Amidst the flying kicks you'll catch snippets of pop songs and film scores. I definitely heard John Carpenter's Halloween theme a few times awkwardly placed in a fight scene. It reminded me a little of Sammo Hung's "My Lucky Stars" only with kids and less small-dick jokes. It was a lot of fun though I must say, the only real disappointment was the lack of skateboard riding or pizza eating. That was completely misleading.

I discovered a bizarre little short film called The Godfarter 3 which was actually a homemade SOV screen test for gonzo actor Timothy Carey in attempt to get cast in the Godfather part III. Despite his respectable career featuring roles in the Wild One, Paths of Glory and the Killing of a Chinese Bookie, he's perhaps best known for his magnum opus, which he wrote directed and starred in, the World's Greatest Sinner. It could also be accurately described as the world's greatest vanity piece! With its absurd plot and his unusual acting style it's truly an inspired cult masterpiece. The Godfarter 3 on the other hand is a train wreck. If you're blinded by Carey fangirlism like me, you'll get a kick out just seeing him deliver stagnant lines over blaring opera music and making terrifying faces into the camera. The film itself is only 7 minutes long but afterwards there's an additional 15 minutes or so of interview footage which was far more entertaining. Apparently Francis Ford Coppola wanted him for the first two Godfather's but he turned it down saying he'd only be doing it for the money. So in turn he requested an enormous amount if he were to actually accept the role (make sense? not really). Coppola was no longer interested. One of the most infamous Carey stories is that during on the of the readings he pulled a gun out of a lunch box and shot both Francis Ford Coppola and Martin Scorsese with blanks. He was promptly escorted off of the property.

Another bit of outsider cinema I had the pleasure of experiencing was "The Goddess Bunny Channels Shakespeare". I found it on VHS at Poo-Bah records inside the box for ANOTHER Goddess Bunny movie called "The Ma Barker Story" (which appears to be autographed though I can't make out the name). I was disappointed that it wasn't the right movie but since it was still Goddess Bunny, I got over it quick. If you're unfamiliar with Goddess Bunny do yourself a favor and youtube her. She was a famous drag queen from the 80's/90's who had suffered from Polio as a child which made her spine underdeveloped. Her performances are quite a spectacle. When I saw her most famous video simply titled "The Goddess Bunny" years ago, it wasn't something I would soon (or ever) forget. Stumbling upon what appears to be a legitimate independent release of one of her films is pretty much the find of a century. It's mostly her, and some fellow performers/friends drunkenly reciting Shakespeare (and then some other play which I'm pretty sure is not Shakespeare). Much like the Godfarter 3, it's an odd character study that would probably only be enjoyed by big fans or a glutton for punishment. You've been warned.

I finally saw the candy colored phallus in wonderland , Pink Narcissus. Some serious queer arthouse action. A vast rainbow of pearls, chiffon and boners. Stylistically reminiscent of Kenneth Anger's work (though much more Homo-erotic, as I recall Anger's work being a bit more subtle), it's basically an extended sexual fantasy of one man dreaming of an arabesque garden of other perfectly endowed men. Clocking in at 71 one minutes, I felt it could have been a little shorter. With no real narrative, just high octane sexually driven visuals after about 45 minutes you're kind of ready for the end. As it is, I'm ready for this review to end.

That's it for today kids. Until next time...

The Extra-Terrestrial Cat in Boots (1990)

Watching foreign movies without subtitles is an art. It's something only a handful of movie fans are willing to subject themselves to and only as a last resort. When the alternative is NOT watching a movie called "The Extra-Terrestrial Cat in Boots" featuring Coffin Joe, there really is no option at all. It simply must be done. I had hoped that my vague memories of "Puss in Boots" would  be favorable in my comprehension of the film. On a very basic level, it was, but as soon as I saw spaceships and wizards I knew this would be yet another subtitle-less testament to my obsession with both bizarre and cat related movies.

On that note, let's meet O Gato himself...

Clearly one of the greatest Man-Cats to ever grace the screen. The mask was actually pretty well made and at times reminded me of the Beast in Jean Cocteau's Beauty and the Beast. Not THAT well made of course, but in the sense that it was kind of life-like, partially animated and TOTALLY creepy. If you're not as enthralled with the appearance of O Gato as I am, you probably won't like the rest of the movie because there's a lot of him just walking around catching ducks and shit. Unless of course you speak Portuguese  then you may dislike the movie for a number of other reasons.

The spaceship of course being nowhere on that list.

For the most part the film does follow the original story. The Cat from outer-space comes to earth in a Star Wars-esque ship with a group of fellow spacemen (regular looking men, no more man-cats unfortunately). All but one seem to disappear after the first scene. It's pretty clear after about 15 minutes in that O Gato's companion is supposed to be the Miller's Son from the original fable whom the Cat hooks up with treasures and princesses and what-have-yous. 

The bad guy is a cool-looking Sorcerer with a really cute pet owl. He spends a lot of time in his castle making poo-poo faces and pouring blue liquid into beakers. 

Look how cute that owl is! Omg.

I was under the false impression that José Mojica Marins was a primary character when I procured this little gem. He's in the film for maybe five minutes. Although I have no idea why or what he's saying, he gave the film the Coffin Joe touch, which makes ALL films complete. He basically floats around, follows O Gato, confronts him, says something menacing then disappears  I can only assume that he's a shape-shifted version of the Sorcerer/Ogre character that lives in the castle.

Who's that on that thar' mountain?

Oh Snap! It's Zé do Caixão! Hide your town virgins!

The castle. Just because it's cool.

The things that made O Gato De Botas Extraterrestre confusing were the things that also made it interesting and set apart from your garden variety Puss in Boots Kiddie Matinee feature. If you know the story, you could probably get through it easily and take from it a bounty of strangeness. I'm still on the prowl for a subtitled copy but as for now I'm satisfied with my subtitle-less Man-Cat-Alien-Sorcery-Coffin-Joe experience.

I'd like to start reviewing all the different versions of Puss in Boots as a personal project. I have the K. Gordon Murray one in my possession which will probably come soon. This will of course exclude the recent Hollywood film which I have no interest in whatsoever. I recall a straight to video version from the late 80's with Christopher Walken that I'll probably revisit as well. Any suggestions, dear readers?

Roseland - 1971

Fredric Hobbs is one of those cult filmmakers who you either get it or you don't. His movies may appear to be just a few of the thousands of low budget genre films being cranked out in the 70's, upon closer inspection you'll find a whole world of mutant sheep, mystic ganja, ghost magicians, frankenstein vampires, mind control, race relations, voodoo, naked hippies, weird cars made from driftwood (?), a black Hieronymus Bosch and quirky sexual peccadilloes. I'm a little obsessed with him and I'm so happy to finally be able to review the last of his three accessible films, Roseland.

By far Hobbs' most sexually driven story. It follows a man named Adam (played by Hobbs alumni E. Kerrigan Prescott) who's become obsessed with voyeurism after studying the painting The Garden of Earthly Delights by Hieronymus Bosch. He's unable to perform sexually so he steals porno reels and becomes a bonafide peeping tom. His obsession has ruined his career as a singer so he now spends hours in a therapist's chair trying to come to terms with his problems. Roseland, like all of Hobbs films, takes many creative liberties. Adam's hypno-therapy puts him in a deep state of sleep where we're subjected to a long expressive nudist hippie dream sequence in slow motion. Extended even more with Adam and a particular girl rolling around naked in a filtered softcore love scene. Not the most interesting part of the film, but relevant. There's also the infamously amazing song and dance flashback where Adam and his band perform "You Cannot Fart Around with Love", which is one of the more endearing moments in the film. I like when it becomes clear that although an experimental filmmaker, Hobbs isn't taking himself TOO seriously.

Watch PLEASE.

Our hero Adam, also know as the Black Bandit for his porn thievery, gets a job in the box office of a burlesque theater where we get to see a very raunchy strip-tease from a lady performer and and even more entertaining strip-tease by Adam himself where he's shimmies down to nothing but a pair of lacy panties. He's inevitably hauled off to a metal institution where he seduces nurses which I suppose would mean he's cured of his little problem, thought it's never directly addressed. A black Hieronymus Bosch appears (played by Christopher Brooks, another Hobbs alumni) and begins explaining everything to Adam in a very poetic, somewhat irrational Hobbsian way. Simply put, the reason Adam was so drawn to the Garden of Earthly Delights is because it is Adam's future. Adam is intended to be ADAM (of Adam and Eve fame) after the impending apocalypse which is sure to happen because of how shitty we treat our planet (cue Hobbs eco-political undertones).We're then propelled into the future where the evil therapist is flying overhead in a plane spraying some kind of poisoned gas into the air where Adam's nudist hippie fantasy was taking place, only this time it's real? Everyone dies except Adam and his fantasy Eve (the girl he was rolling around with) who float away on a giant phallic rose, making love, probably repopulating the human race.

Hobbs films appeal to a very small audience. Look up reviews for any of these. Roseland, Godmonster of Indian Flats or Alabama's Ghost (you can find my reviews for the other films HERE and HERE, and mentioned in my review for Faster Pussycat! Kill! Kill! is a conversation I had with his editor Gordon Mueller). His style doesn't jive with most people's taste, and to a point I can understand why. The plots are hard to follow and there's a strong personal agenda there. He's definitely trying to convey a message with these films and being that they are also b-movies, that can be difficult to get across to an audience. You really have to have a strong appreciation for both low budget and outsider cinema to dig Hobbs' work. The ability to suspend disbelief doesn't hurt either. The political aspects of his films haven't moved me much, but the strong imagery and artistic stylings hold it all together in a way I can only loosely compare to the work of Russ Meyer and Andy Milligan. I enjoy seeing the same cast return for each film as well. I mentioned in my review for Alabama's Ghost that E. Kerrigan Scott was a personal favorite of mine. Roseland has secured a place in my heart for that guy. I just love seeing his bearded face, and you can tell her really loved making these movies. 

He would have to love making these movies to let Hobbs put a rose in his anus.

I'm not sure where I would rank Roseland in correlation with the other two Hobbs films I've seen. I generally find myself getting bored with movies revolving heavily around sex, especially when they feature long soft-core love making scenes. Roseland is a little different. It FEELS different and the gonzoid plot kept me completely captivated. They're all so unique, atmospheric and wonderful. I know this will probably be the last Fredric Hobbs review I do for a while, if ever again. His remaining films are near impossible to locate. I'm currently trying to track down a copy of his film Troika from 1969. I've spoken to a few people who have seen it so I know there are copies floating around out there somewhere*, hopefully one day I'll be able to experience it myself. I have little hope for ever finding his first film "Trojan Horse" (1967), a documentary on the creation of one of his parade sculptures. His website also cites a final film from 1978 called "The Richest Place on Earth", which I had previously read was a book he co-wrote and illustrated. Not sure if that's misinformation or if he actually made a film based on the book. 

I wish there was a bigger following for Fredric Hobbs. His films and artwork deserve more exposure. I'm just happy to have experienced these three wonderful films that have become pivotal pieces in my huge cannon of movies I'm obsessed with. Something Weird no longer carries Roseland so if you're lucky enough to find a copy, give it a spin and let me know what you think.

*If anyone knows where I can find a copy of  Troika, I will make it worth your while.

Ubu Roi - 1965

Movies heavily influenced by a political or anti-political agenda have never really been my forte. However, in Europe (mainly Eastern Europe and definitely in Russia) fantasy and sci-fi films are used as a creative outlet for retelling tales of communist oppression in a much prettier package. It's safe to say that the subject only appeals to me, enough to write about at least, if it's done in a visually stimulating and theatrical way. When I came across Jean-Christophe Averty's adaptation of Ubu Roi and it's expressive black and white cut-up style visuals, I knew it was something I needed to see no matter what it was about.

Based on Alfredy Jarrry's 1896 play about a greedy, overweight, selfish asshole named Pere Ubu. [Yes, Pere Ubu, one can only assume that this is where the seminal post punk punk band drew their inspiration.  Having never heard of Ubu Roi or Jarry's other plays, I had never caught the reference.] Ubu Roi follows Pere Ubu on his journey to overthrow the current ruler and become King of Poland. Along the way he betrays many of his followers ("the Pere Ubists", if you will), taxes the civilians to an unreasonable degree and eventually slaughters just about everyone. Along his side, is the equally crude but somehow more likable Mere Ubu, who's like a foul mouthed Lady Macbeth. Despite her showing similar infantile and heartless characteristics, she's a good foil for Pere Ubu and I can't help but enjoy seeing her giving him a hard time.

Jarry's plays were often criticized for being juvenile and unfinished, but it was these kinds of bourgeoisie and pretentious sentiments that he was mocking to begin with. His plays are the earliest examples of Theater of the Absurd, and not only that, they're fucking hilarious. Ubu Roi is like Shakespeare with fart jokes. Jean-Christophe Averty's influence is not to be overlooked either. His made for tv adaptation features simplistic but highly effective and visually exciting animation. I couldn't help but be reminded of the work of Karel Zeman with films such as Baron Prasil and A Deadly Invention using more expansive but similar cut-up animation techniques. I also noticed some striking similarities to Forbidden Zone, not just in it's vaudevillian cartoonish style, but thematically as well. And I would be remiss to acknowledge one final reference, as my husband pointed out, Pere Ubu bears a striking resemblance to Oogie Boogie from Nightmare before Christmas. It didn't take much research to come to the conclusion that he was in fact a major inspiration for that character.

Don't you want to see it now???  Luckily, you don't have to look very far. The entire thing is on youtube with subtitles...

An illuminating viewing experience indeed. Not only did I learn about this admittedly famous character that I probably should have already been familiar with, but it lead me to discover Jean-Christophe Averty who is officially on my "Directors-to-Obsess-Over-In-The-Future" list. He's probably most known for directing the 30 minute short "Melody" aka "Histoire de Melody Nelson" starring Serge Gainsbourg and Jane Birkin. He also has a myriad of experimental art films to his credit, all of which I need in my life. Hopefully I'll have more to say on Averty in future reviews.

A brief apology for my absence. I've been in a transitional period between jobs but movies have recently come back into the forefront of my priorities and I have a dozen or so titles I want to review from just the past few weeks. You'll be seeing much more of me in the future, I promise ;-).

Dandy Dust -1998

Attempting to find or follow any kind of coherent narrative in Dandy Dust is futile. There's a loose interpretation of a story-like thing involving a cyborg, lesbian clones, memory loss, sex spiders, drill dicks and space travel. Despite mostly having no clue what was going on, I would be remiss not to at least mention these plot points in passing. Instead of  pretending to know what I'm talking about I'll move on to the real star of the film: The highly saturated experimental special effects. At the end of the day that's where 98% of my attention was drawn. Me and probably any human-like person subjecting themself to this fluorescent celluloid orgy. From a certain character having a lighter flame for a head or the vagina-torso'd (I think I just created a word there) spider was aptly named "Spidercuntboy" - these were all passing fragments I can but feebly piece together in this neoplasmic assault of the senses.

Using all kinds of extremely effective low budget techniques, Dandy Dust took 5 1/2 years for director A. Hans Scheirl, to finish. Being completed just two years before the 21st century, Dandy Dust just may be the quintessential cyber punk opus. It covers so much ground while still being utterly ridiculous and visually stunning in a cut and paste black light and cardboard kind of way. You can really see the care that went into making this hyper-sexualized gender bending sci-fi expression of pure pandemonium. Every detail of every black light heavy set piece, neon paper mache costume, electric potato starch slime, every barrage edit and stop animation clip, 16 mm projection, every dazzling shadow every video toaster manipulated effect was placed haphazardly and doused in magical unicorn jizzim to seal it with a cosmic kiss from Kenneth Anger and Rinse Dream to make a rich tapestry of vulgarity and psychedelia.

This review is running a little shorter (and ramble-y) than most. Not because I didn't love the film but because it's in many ways greater than words. It fits into a very exclusive type of films I fucking love that I very rarely get to see. My default case-in-point has always been, Rinse (Stephen Sayadian) Dream's Dr Caligari. Which looks like a Tennessee Williams play compared to this distorted kaleidoscopic hullabaloo. Other notable films that remind me of/ have similar characteristics would be Liquid Sky, Pink Narcissus, Carmelo Bene's Salome, Superstarlet A.D., Geek Maggot Bingo and this amazing Max Headroom-ish  movie from 1989 called "Split" that no one ever talks about for some reason. There are also moments reminiscent of the Kuchar Brothers and more recently Craig Baldwin. Not to name drop too much but I couldn't help while watching the film but find myself in waves of prismatic nostalgia.

After the movie ended I had to take a few days off of all activities requiring use of my brain. After slipping into a pornoplastic diabetic booger coma, I awoke with a new sense of being and a revelation that this is the kind of movie I should be watching all day every day, or at least spend a good portion of my life seeking out films such as this that can make my frontal lobe quiver with candy colored wonderment.

The Snow Queen - 1966

Within the past few years my interest in Russian Fairy Tales has grown from a curiosity to a thriving obsession. I mentioned my discovery of the genre in my review for the Golden Horns, so there's really no need for me to go over it again. No matter how well I know the story, each film feels refreshing and flawless. Since I'm watching another equally amazing film I feel the need to stress that point once again. The dream-like quality and imagination achieved by most of these films reaches near perfection. At least by my standards and personal taste. Finally coming to own the Snow Queen was just another small victory on my mission to conquer this illustrious world of celluloid.

Look out the window. GAHHH!

Based on the famous story by Hans Christian Andersen. The story follows two children, Kai and Gerda, who live happily with their Grandmother. One day a mysterious man shows up and offers to buy their roses, which bloom even in the snow. Because the flowers were a gift, the Grandmother refuses. The man reveals that he works for the Snow Queen and attempts to intimidate the elderly woman and children to obtain what he was sent for. They persistently refuse so he shuffles out angrily. Shortly after, the Snow Queen (played by the lovely Natalya Klimova) arrives to procure what her footman could not. In this meeting she becomes fixated on Kai and tries to lure him to come live with her in her castle, presumably as a son-like figure. He declines and she bitterly exits the room, wilting the roses with the wave of her icy hand on the way out.

The next day, while riding her gilded sleigh around the town square, not realizing who was driving, Kai playfully decides to hitch a ride by lassoing his sled to the back. When the Snow Queen has him at her disposal she speeds off, kidnapping poor little Kai. From here the story follows Gerda in her journey to find and free her brother Kai.

I've never read the Snow Queen and my only other reference is from the "Shelley Duvall's Faerie Tale Theater" version with Lee Remick, which I loved of course (as I did most of those). This one was much more upscale in budget, content, and that little extra something that I keeping finding in Russian films. Gerda meets all kinds of charming characters, my favorite being the human size birds who help her get to the castle. They're just big and cute and I want to hug and fly around on them! In fact, Gerda does exactly this, and when she does it the sequence is animated which I thought was a charming break in atmosphere.

CUTE. For real though.

When the bird takes her to the castle she meets a friendly Prince and Princess who give her access to their golden carriage and warm clothing for her trek into the Snow Queen's territory. By the way, I'm loving the Princesses cotton candy colored hair. I also love the expressive mid-century style portraits of her hanging in the palace....

After she leaves the castle, while traveling through the Kingdom Gerda is kidnapped by thieves working for the weasely footman of the Snow Queen. Luckily, the daughter of the head bandit wants to keep her as a friend. At first the little robber girl attempts to force Gerda to stay by tying her up like a big weirdo but eventually gives in and lets her go. She also helps by giving Gerda a talking reindeer to guide her through the rest of her journey to defeat the Queen and free Kai.

My only real complaint with the movie is the lack of the actual Snow Queen. What a FANTASTIC villain. Beautiful and statuesque but also menacing and truly "cold" feeling. In all of her scenes, especially those with Kai, there's a sense of emotional disconnect that's could translate to real-life parental issues, is probably meant to. I couldn't take my eyes off of her. The Snow Queen's awesome wickedness is of Ursula-like proportions, and I would have really loved to see her wreak more havoc than her limited screen time allowed.

Other things I loved about this movie: Um,  EVERYTHING. I'm sorry to go on so many endless ellipses of praise but it's hard to talk about something you think is genuinely good (not in a silly or funny way) without simply repeating yourself. As of now, the Golden Horns is still my favorite but as I further explore Russian Fairy tales I realize that it has served two purposes. It comforts my inner-child (or whatever you want to call it), making me feel all whimsical and inspired, while still being a relevant and vastly overlooked piece of film history, nurturing that side of my interests as well. This suits me just fine as I always feel that I'm struggling between the two. One that wants to create and be carefree, which I associate with art, working with my hands and the freedom of youth. The other to speculate, reflect and engage myself which I associate with film study, reading, writing, and forming my own opinions which is a virtue that has come with maturity. Somehow these films make me feel connected to both equally important aspects of my personality. And as silly as that may sound, being that these are in fact children's movies, I cannot help but be moved by them in a way I hope I have articulated in this stream of consciousness cluster of words.


On a lighter note, I've recently learned that this genre is more commonly known as Russian Fantastika, a term used not only for family films but also for spectacular fantasy and science fiction films as well. What sets these films apart from others is their incredible use of special effects, cinematography, and lyrical story telling. This movement spanning decades has been treated with little to no respect by American distributors, probably for bullshit political reasons which I could care less about and should hold no baring whatsoever on an artistic medium. This explains the lack of accessibility of these huge budget landmark masterpieces that I should have grown up with.

That's Gerda and Kai on the right. LOOK AT THE SIZE OF THE SNOW QUEEN. Magic.

Having browsed some other reviews, not everyone seems to have such unbridled love for this movie as I do. Many just consider it a well made kids movie. So I hope I haven't blown it too much out of proportion. But, for my purposes, it was just what the doctor ordered. A highly saturated, fable-esque, handmade-looking example of story telling and nostalgia.. I can't wait to experience the next one that falls into my lap.